I caught the epidemic, bought into the idea that often circulates within the Christian community that the goal in life is to meet a godly spouse, get married, raise godly children and live for Jesus. The problem was, as evidenced in the order of the previous sentence, that living for Jesus was often placed in the background. I was still trying to live for Jesus, but in my longing for a godly man, my focus wasn’t in fully pursuing the One who makes him godly in the first place. Though God created marriage, and Genesis 2:18 says “It is not good that the man should be alone,” any good thing placed above God becomes an idol. Church suddenly isn’t a place to encounter God’s presence and grace, but rather a glorified ChristianMingle event.
The truth is, being in a relationship doesn’t fix your problems or fill your void. Only the one who created your heart and knows all the workings of it can completely satisfy you. That doesn’t mean, though, that everything is smooth sailing once you decide to trust and rely on Jesus. It can still be hard to be surrounded by people in relationships. We were made for companionship, and when we don’t have it, inadequacy and desperation can creep in, causing us to wonder if anyone will ever love us. But, your worth does not come from the ring on your hand, it comes from the scars on His. God’s redemptive love for us is not altered by our relationship status. He chose to humble Himself and die an incredibly painful death on a cross so that we could come before His throne and know the Creator of the world, the Creator of our hearts. He walked among our brokenness and knows how to put the pieces back together to make us whole again. He knows our sinfulness, yet He chooses to see the best in our hearts, forgive us again and again, and help refine and mold us to His glory. He knows what we need, and what we think we need might not be the best for us at the moment. A season of singleness may be because God is refining and redeeming you in a way that could only have come from being single.
There is a lot of love in my heart to give, and I am looking forward to the day I can share it with someone. Yet, I know that I still have a lot to learn about what is it to love and be loved, and my Savior who gives me mercy and grace despite of everything I am is the perfect teacher. Even still, when the God guided moment comes to be in a relationship, we’re not going to be or feel completely ready. We are always going to be works in progress. But, we will always be ready for a deeper relationship with the God who delights in our hearts and souls.
Yes, I will update my Pinterest wedding board weekly and yes, I will notice the handsome, single man sitting a few rows behind me in church. But, I can log off Pinterest and walk out of church knowing that my God, who has redeemed and is refining my heart, loves me beyond my imagining. He does not and will not withhold what is good from me. He just cares about my heart and soul enough to bring what is good in His perfect timing.
Forever and Always,
Emily
Some Scripture to meditate on:
“ The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let Your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” -Psalm 16:5-11
Emily Ann Dodson 